Your Romantic Relationships May Fail If You Don’t Trust Yourself

 

There is one particular trait that is why many romantic relationships fail. You cannot have a stable romantic relationship if you don’t trust yourself. Any partner you hook up with will lose confidence in you over time. You will constantly be doubting yourself. You won’t be able to make decisions, and quite frankly, you may not perform very well when it comes to the bedroom.

Romantic rSelf belief, self trust & relationshipselationships have a foundation of trust. While you may believe you trust your partner, it’s difficult to continue if you don’t trust yourself. You will likely put yourself down constantly in front of your partner. He or she may sympathize with you in the beginning, but the behaviour will get old after a while.

Contrast this behaviour with trusting yourself. You will have confidence that will exude to your partner. Most people find this attribute attractive and will bring about a more responsive partner. You will have your needs met both emotionally and physically. That is sure to make you happier in your relationship.

If you don’t trust yourself, it’s not likely you will share your feelings with your partner. Relationships build around communication as well as trust. If you cannot communicate to your partner, this will break you apart and you will have another romantic relationship fail on you.

A lack of trust in yourself will not lead you to a positive attitude. You will project negativity to anyone you associate with, including your partner. Try to put yourself in his or her shoes. Would you want to hang around someone who is constantly negative? It’s quite likely you won’t. Over time, you will look for ways to avoid that person. The same will happen to you. People will avoid you if you are negative.

It is okay to share your feelings with your partner, even if those feelings are occasionally negative. It’s almost impossible to be positive 100% of your life. You just have to strike a balance and work towards being more positive than negative. That cannot happen if you doubt yourself and don’t have an internal trust.

It takes work, but you will have a better chance of not having a great romantic relationship fail if you trust yourself than if you don’t. Your partner will be excited to be with you and will want to spend time with you. Your partner will be happier which will make you happier. You have the choice of remaining closed and lacking trust in yourself or opening up and gaining the confidence to have the best possible relationship.

Trust and Confidence Go Hand-in-Hand

If you have had a difficult time trusting yourself, it may be a sign that you lack confidence. You cannot develop any trust without confidence. Feel secure in your abilities and be strong in your convictions. But, know when you are wrong as well.

The above requires you to develop confidence. That may seem scary to you. However, it’s not as difficult as you think. No one is born with confidence. It is something people learn and develop during their lives. It’s the same for you. Take steps to develop your confidence and trusting yourself will become easy.

Fear is the biggest detractor from confidence. When you give into your fears, you will diminish the chances of building up your confidence. That is something that deepens if you don’t handle it quickly. You need to face your fears head-on.

That doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind and be reckless. You should take chances but only if they won’t put your life or others’ lives in danger. You would not jump out of a plane without a parachute. Don’t make frivolous decisions, either. Confidence is about knowing the difference.

Start out with small tasks that you have been afraid to try in the past. Most outcomes will turn out better than you imagine. If you try to project what will happen, and it is always a negative outcome, you will never make any decisions. Take on those small tasks without thinking too much about what’s going to happen. That will build up your confidence as you’ve never seen before.

You should ask questions when you aren’t sure about the situations you face. Confidence is not about having all the answers. It’s about knowing where to find them and who to rely on with the knowledge that you need. It’s also about pulling the trigger when you have gathered enough information.

Confidence is about taking responsibility for your decisions and your actions. If you believe in what you are doing, you can portray that belief to others affected by your decisions. You will come across as being weak if you start blaming others when your situation doesn’t go as planned. Once this happens, others will lose faith in you. That will cause your confidence to erode, and self-doubt will take over. When you make your decisions, you own them, even if they don’t work out.

When you increase your confidence, you will automatically increase trusting yourself. Then, you can accomplish more than you ever imagined.

Learn How to Trust Yourself from Others

Have you ever observed people who you felt were confident? They know what to do in most situations. Even when they don’t, they know how to find the answers. They never let problems get in their way. They always know how to talk to people. Their confidence is their power.

It’s likely these confident people trust themselves. It is impossible to have confidence when you don’t trust yourself. The confidence comes from an internal trust. It makes sense when you think about it.

If you don’t know too many people who are confident, try to learn about successful people. One great way to do this is to check out TED Talks. If you are not familiar with these, TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design. It’s an organization that exists to spread ideas usually in video form. You can find many of these talks on YouTube.com. Just search for TED Talks.

Many of these videos are short but with high impact. It’s unlikely you will find speakers that don’t have confidence. You can observe the speakers in the video and see how they speak. Also, observe their body language. Do they smile a lot? How do they engage with the audience?

Another source to draw inspiration is Amazon books. Read biographies of successful people. It’s a bit more difficult to find stories about confidence when reading through the biographies. That is because their stories may not be specifically about confidence. But, it usually resonates through the story. If nothing else, you will pick up on some inspiration from other areas along with confidence.

Look to take on a mentor. You will know when someone is right for you because you will both form a good relationship from the start. Mentors are people who trust themselves and have confidence. Otherwise, it’s unlikely you would pick those people to be your mentor. You can establish a formal mentor relationship, or you can just keep in contact with someone who you respect.

You will naturally take on some positive attributes just by being in this relationship. However, it doesn’t hurt to observe how your mentor interacts with others and how they solve problems.

When you observe or reach out to confident people, it will help you become more confident. You can see what you are doing wrong and make changes. When you become confident, lack of trust in yourself will be a thing of the past.

Using Social Media to Be Appreciative

Social media has invaded everyone’s lives. People are willing to share many aspects of their lives on social media, from cute pictures of their cats, to what they had for breakfast. While not everyone appreciates these constant updates, when used correctly, social media can be a great way to show the world all the small things that you appreciate.

If you have never used Pinterest before, start setting up boards about your favorite items. It could be songs of your favorite bands. If you have great recipes that you have tried in your past, create a board for that. You can even set up some of your boards as group boards. You then invite others to post on your boards. The advantage of this is you can find ideas of what others enjoy. You can control who is allowed to join to prevent spammers from infiltrating your boards.

If you insist on posting every meal on social media, consider using Twitter to do this. It’s a more forgiving platform as the messages pass through quickly and only contain a small number of characters. Your friends on Facebook are probably not as receptive. Now you know.

While it’s great to show your appreciation for the small things using social media, make sure you have the rights to post what you post. People and companies take copyright infringement seriously and posting any picture on a whim can get you into serious trouble. The fines can be hefty, and there have been instances of criminal actions taken against perpetrators. If you search on Google for images and you don’t know whether it’s okay to use them, likely it’s not. Don’t take this issue lightly.

You also want to make sure you have permission to post pictures of people. If they are people you know, you can simply ask them with a verbal confirmation. If you wish to post people you don’t know, make sure you get a signed release that it’s okay to use their image. Never use people’s images in a negative light. You wouldn’t want them doing that to you so they won’t appreciate it either.

Be respectful of what you post on social media. Some media channels may allow you to post inappropriate material, such as nude pictures, etc. However, just because the particular channel allows it doesn’t mean you should engage in the practice. If it’s not something you are willing to show to your mother than that is probably a good indication it should not go onto social media.

Why It Is Important to Believe in Yourself

You may wonder why it is important to believe in yourself. The simple answer is that no one else will. Your spouse and your family will believe in you to a certain extent. However, when times get tough, family support tends to wane. It’s not that they don’t love and care about you. It’s just they stopped believing in you.

While this doesn’t always happen, it happens often enough to cause conflict. An example is when a spouse or parents initially give you support on a new venture. When the venture doesn’t work out as they believe it should, they start to question whether you should continue with it. If your belief starts to weaken, you may take on their way of thinking.

The reason beliefs start to weaken is due to a fear of the unknown. When you start a new venture, everyone is excited for you and will tell you to give it your best shot. However, when the prospects of the business become murkier, that excitement turns to fear.

The problem is the path towards success for these ventures is not a straight line up. Having some bumps in the road is normal. In fact, this is what defines the success of the enterprise, and the people who are taking risks. It should be welcomed and not feared.

The fear of the unknown may start to creep into your psyche. It’s easier to listen to your family and friends tell you to dissolve your venture because it is failing. They will continue down this negative path until you decide to stop. If you do choose to give up on your business, they will tell you that it wasn’t meant to be and that starting a business is difficult.

That time is precisely the moment that you shouldn’t stop. People never get ahead by quitting. If you believe in yourself, you would have had the conviction to see it through. You would have the appropriate guidance to give you strength to surge ahead. You could have done all of it while telling your family and friends to have some faith. A firm belief in yourself would give you the courage to stand up to them.

Whatever venture you decide to pursue, know that only by continuing will you make it work. Think of Thomas Edison’s contribution to the lightbulb. While he did not invent the lightbulb (contrary to popular belief), he made ones that lasted longer. Imagine if he decided to quit after he ran into a few stumbling blocks early on.

Why Routine Is Good for You

You’ll hear people refer to routine as being dull or boring. It implies that life is the same from one day to the next. However, routines are a great way to get your work done. It’s also a great means for teams to work together towards a common goal. When everyone has an understanding of what needs to get done, i.e., what routines each team member needs to perform, projects tend to run smoother.

We also have routines in our society. In some ways, laws can be considered routines. You know that you aren’t supposed to run a red light and that can be thought of as a routine. When you come to a red light, you stop as best as you can. There may be instances when you accidentally go through one here or there. But, most people will stop for red lights. And this is good to reduce accidents.

You set up routines for your kids in the form of chores. You know that certain tasks need to get done each week. Many parents tie kids’ allowances on these chores. When the kids finish their chores, they receive their allowances. It teaches the kids a work ethic. They need to perform tasks, and when they complete those tasks, they receive money for them.

When you pay bills, you tend to have a routine for this. Some people like to get everything sorted on one day and pay all the bills on that day. Others will pay them whenever they receive them. Others, still, will set up their payments to be paid automatically by their bank or brokerage. There isn’t a right answer for how to do this. Whatever works for you is the right answer. However, the method you choose will be routine.

Contrast this to people who don’t have routines to manage their lives. They tend to handle tasks when the mood strikes them. These people are usually late with their bills and have messy environments. Some of these people will say that this way of life works for them. However, for most people this is chaos. It’s something that can easily be avoided by setting up routines for the tasks you need to complete.

Of course, people are not robots. Hence, they do break up their routines on occasion. You may use weekends to do activities that you don’t get to do during the work week. Also, many families use vacations to help break up their routines.

Learn the Reasons Why You Don’t Trust Yourself

Many people don’t trust themselves for one reason or another. If you include yourself in this group, ask yourself why. Knowing the cause can help you break the issue down and begin to change. Once you discover the problem, you will be well on your way to learning how to trust yourself.

Start with your childhood. No, this doesn’t mean you have to spill your guts to a shrink lying on a couch. However, if you think back to your childhood, it can give you some clues as to why you have developed a distrust of yourself. Perhaps your parents were distrustful of themselves. It could also be siblings or other relatives. The purpose is not to blame them. Just recognize that it happened and use it to move forward.

Do you find it difficult to trust others? It’s a situation that causes you to be in a constant mode of distrust. It isn’t too much of a stretch for that mode to extend to you. Therefore, you have to learn how to start putting trust in other people. Most people will appreciate you for it.

Are you an overly sensitive person? If so, this could cause you to be mistrustful of yourself. You may take what others’ say out of context. That is because of your sensitive nature. It’s not wrong to be sensitive. You just have to realize that it can cause you to misread what others are saying or feeling.

Putting your trust in others is sometimes going to backfire. Some people are simply not trustworthy. They may even put on a front that they are. You should accept this as a part of life, and try not to project experiences from a few onto other people. Otherwise, you are going to continue to maintain your wall. This wall will make it difficult for you to trust others as well as yourself.

Another reason for not trusting yourself is that others don’t trust you. If you are not trustworthy, how can you expect to trust yourself? You may not even realize this is happening. You may think you are doing right by others when in fact, you aren’t. Ask for an honest assessment as to whether your friends and family feel you are trustworthy. That can be a hard pill to swallow, but it will offer great insight. Try not to get upset if people tell you that you aren’t trustworthy. It’s a learning experience.

Your Children May Not Trust Themselves

If you don’t trust yourself, did you know that your children may not trust themselves, either? It’s likely that you developed a mistrust for yourself from your parents. It is something that you picked up as a kid, and it carried to your adult life. You pass it on to your kids, and they will continue the process to their kids.

Your actions and conversations may be subtle. Your kids will hear what you and your spouse talk about as well as discussions by, or with, other family members. You may well do things that you’re not even aware of, but your kids will pick up on those as well.

It’s a difficult situation because you want your kids to be safe. You can’t just let them trust everyone who they speak to or meet. It’s a dangerous world, and kids can become victims if you don’t teach them to be cautious.

Trusting yourself requires trusting others, and that’s where the difficulty comes in. You have likely been burned by a few people enough times to warrant your caution. But, these experiences are going to resonate with your children, and you should try to find a balance between getting them to trust certain people while remaining cautious.

Of course, you want to teach your kids always to be trustworthy themselves, even if others are not to them. It will be nearly impossible for them to trust themselves if they are not trustworthy. If they let others down, they won’t have any reason to develop an internal trust. That means that you and your spouse will have to be trustworthy.

You may be trustworthy to kids but not to other people. That can send the wrong signals to kids if you tell them they should be trustworthy to others. It will leave them confused and unsure what to do. That will lead to the long-term behavior of not being trustworthy, which means they won’t trust themselves.

Be sure to talk to your kids to help them develop the balance between caution and trust. If they have questions, be open to answering them. Try not to take offense if they feel you are sending mixed signals with regards to trust. When you find that balance and your kids find it too, your family will have the necessary means to trust each other and yourselves. It’s not easy, but it is definitely worth the effort. You just have to keep at it.

Let Time Management Software Help with Your Routines

There are several time management software packages available to help people structure their routines. If you are struggling to keep up with the growing demands life is presenting to you, try to use a software program to help you organize your tasks.

The program can be as simple as alerting you when a certain task needs starting or when one is due. Most email packages will let you do this. If that is not available in your email package, you can find free scheduling or calendar packages online. If all else fails, Google has a calendar package that you can use for this purpose.

If you want to increase your productivity, you may want to consider a more robust solution than a calendar program, or a calendar function from your email provider. Time management software can be valuable in this case. This category of programs track your activity down to the minute, and even to the second. Many let you set up your tasks ahead of time. The timeslots you allocate will infer the amount of time you estimated for each task. When you complete a task, you mark it as complete on the program.

These time management programs will give you reports as to how well you did with your estimations for your tasks. They will alert you when you did not complete the task in the time allotted. This information can help you refine your estimates for future schedules.

Some people freak out with sophisticated programs and find they cannot use them. They feel the programs track at too granular a level. They also feel that managers of their company could use these programs against them if they don’t get their work completed in the estimated time. This issue is especially stressful if the managers are the ones setting the estimates. These people feel simple to-do list with their tasks for the day is enough.

If you decide to use a time management program, you need to make sure you update it when you complete the tasks. However, that is something that takes a bit of time to get used to doing. You also need to account for activities that pop up that you didn’t allow for and weren’t on your schedule. The better packages will be able to cope with those problems.

Check online for the term time management and use the results to see what is available. Consider the price against your budget, and try to find software that allows you to try before you buy.

It’s Natural for People to Make Mistakes

Have you ever made a mistake? It’s not likely that you went as far in your life without making any mistakes. Most people (if not all) make them. Also, they will continue to make them. It’s part of the human experience.

Sometimes, people make mistakes that will put you in difficult positions. For instance, suppose you own a company and one of your workers mistakenly misrepresented your company. You know that your company is responsible for that misrepresentation. The person may not have known they made a mistake.

Your first reaction may be to fire the person. In some cases, you would be justified in doing so. However, did the person have the necessary knowledge to prevent him or her from misinforming others? If not, you need to consider that regarding the situation.

If people deliberately took adverse action, then that is a different situation. If they did know what they were doing, and they had malicious intent, then you are within your right to let them go. You should make sure that they were acting maliciously, however.

There are no easy answers when people make major mistakes. They may not be able to make it right, either. You will be left to deal with the consequences. It is easy to lash out at the person responsible. Of course, you should give them the opportunity to rectify it if they can.

The way some people deal with the situation of others making mistakes is to reflect on their own mistakes. This way, you can empathize with them. When that happens, you’ll be less likely to lash out at them and make the wrong decisions.

There are situations where people make the same mistakes repeatedly, even when you give them guidance on how not to make those mistakes. That is tough as these people may not be acting maliciously but may not have the ability to change. For instance, not everyone is cut out with their chosen vocations. In these situations, you need to weigh whether the mistakes they make have a serious impact. Even small impacts can add up when repeated.

When people make mistakes, and you forgive them, they will be appreciative. Many of these people will use your forgiveness as a means to grow. They become better people because of it. You will feel good knowing that these people have used the situation to their advantage.

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